Despite what may seem like a classic night and day scenario, stoners and drinkers actually do have some things in common. But, there’s no denying these two groups of people have some pretty distinct differences. In the interest of not taking either weed or alcohol too seriously, let’s take a close look at the biggest differences between stoners vs. drinkers. 

The Biggest Differences Between Stoners vs. Drinkers

1. The hangover 

Drinkers: Wake up with a hangover, feel like you’ve been hit by a truck, and unable to keep drinking without feeling sick. 

Stoners: Wake up feeling chipper and well-rested, and ready to pack another bowl and start the day off with a bong rip. 

2. Always looking for more 

Drinkers: Always on the hunt for something new to drink. The catch? You can only drink so much before you start to feel seriously sick. 

Stoners: Always on the lookout for a new strain to smoke. The best part? You can keep smoking, and smoking, and smoking…

3. Memory problems 

Drinkers: What did I do last night?? Everything is a blur past that third shot, and you can’t remember anything you did for the life of you. All you know is your wallet is pretty unhappy.

Stoners: You don’t remember where you put the lighter you just had, but you smoked last night and chilled with friends. It was great. 

4. The weekend 

Drinkers: It’s time to hit up the club or the bar, spend a bunch of money, and get drunk — only to feel sick the next day and spend part of the weekend recovering and a serious reason to dread Monday.

Stoners: It’s time to hit the bong or dab rig, spend the weekend chilling at home — and being able to smoke the whole weekend without the need for recovery. 

5. Emotions 

Drinkers: Laughing turns to crying, which can either turn into more laughter or rage. It all depends on the drink and the person, but it’s a toss-up. Emotions lead to texting people you shouldn’t, and all sorts of other issues. It’s a rollercoaster. 

Stoners: Laughter turns into more laughter, which becomes hysterical laughter. Everything is just funny, and nothing is wrong because you’re too stoned for it to be a problem. 

6. Music 

Drinkers: Adopted “I Love This Bar” and “Red Solo Cup” as their drinking songs. 

Stoners: Adopted “Ganja Daze” and “Because I Got High” as their smoking choices. 

7. Conversation 

Drinkers: After a few drinks, things don’t make much sense. Your speech is slurry, and you’re babbling about all sorts of things. The more you drink, the less coherent you become. 

Stoners: Take a few bong rips, and you start waxing philosophical about aliens and whether or not Beauty and Beast have to buy all new furniture or not because theirs turned back into people. 

8. Appetite 

Drinkers: Orders a massive burrito and promptly proceeds to get sick. 

Stoners: Orders a massive burrito, and then orders dessert, some snacks for later, and a big drink to wash it all down with. 

9. Dance like . . . 

Drinkers: Nobody is watching. Or, if anyone is, they’re loving it because you’re killing it on the dance floor. Nobody has ever danced as good as you. And you can probably sing right now, too! 

Stoners: The cops are watching. Best be low-key and chill. 

10. Dating 

Drinkers: Meets their partners in bars or at clubs, usually while heavily intoxicated. 

Stoners: Meets their partners in the circle, usually while stoned. 

11. Phone calls 

Drinkers: Drunk calls their exes at 2 a.m., crying and wanting to talk things out. Or, just to meet up and make a decision they’re likely to regret by morning. 

Stoners: Calls up the dispensary at 11pm to make sure they’re still open. Scores some more weed, and goes back home to enjoy it in peace. 

12. Intimacy 

Drinkers: Tries to be intimate, but is clumsy and ends up falling asleep. 

Stoners: Tries to be intimate, but can’t stop giggling about random stoner thoughts that pop into their head. 

13. Evidence 

Drinkers: Has to recycle all of the cans or bottles, and make sure nothing spills in the bag and then leaks out. The room may smell of stale beer. 

Stoners: Easy clean up, putting away the bong and the rest of the stash. Light some incense to mask the smell of weed, or follow some common ways to get the weed smell out of the house

14. Going hard 

Drinkers: Shotgunning a beer — or two.

Stoners: Taking a dab – or several. 

15. Public 

Drinkers: It’s difficult to be subtly drunk in public, as you tend to stumble around and generally act, well, drunk. 

Stoners: Just be chill. It’s easy to be subtly stoned in public, as long as you just act calm and pay attention to what people are saying. 

What are some other major differences between stoners vs. drinkers that you’ve noticed? Let us know down in the comments! 

Disclaimer: Marijuana has intoxicating effects and may be habit-forming. Smoking is hazardous to your health. There may be health risks associated with consumption of Marijuana. Marijuana, in any form, should not be used by individuals that are pregnant or breastfeeding. Marijuana is intended for use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of reach of children. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgment. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. This product may be unlawful outside of Washington State.

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